Here I am - back to the world of blogging

Okay - apparently I suck at this blogging thing. Well, I'm going to give it another shot. Things have settled down a bit since a couple years ago, but work is completely crazy! We have a new Manager, but she went on vacation right after she got here so I've been filling in for the past 5 weeks. It's been crazy but also satisfying. Going to be hard to give that up when she comes back this week. Got to slip back into my Supervisor shoes and step back.

My son is back home - sort of. When he feels like it he's here. Tends to take off for the weekend or even for a couple days during the week. Calls for money all the time and like a sucker I almost always give it to him. D-uh...when will I ever learn to just say NO!???

Weight watchers - hmm...another dismal attempt that failed. I've gained more weight since then. Keep trying to be smart, but don't seem to have the willpower. Need to try harder I guess.

So, there's the update - sort of. Could my life get anymore dull? Man...I need to get out more!!

Some words to live by...and I should pay attention, I guess!!!

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Sunny Sunday

It's just me, again! It's a gloriously sunny Sunday! Since we haven't seen much of the sun lately, it was great to see it today! Uplifting to the spirit!

I haven't been here for awhile. No excuses, really, just tired most of the time. Lacking energy and have to get up and go! I'd also thought I was here by myself in bloggerland, until a nice lady by the name of Annie showed me otherwise! So, here I am again...ready to forge ahead.

It was my day off today so I used it to do nothing but relax and read. Also enjoyed a long, hot, bubblebath....what luxery! It was awesome!

I took my daughter to work with me on Nov. 3rd. It was National Take Your Kid's to Work Day, and she wanted to go to work with me. Well, she liked it so much that she filled out a job application and was hired the next day! She is thrilled as she wants to save up for her own computer. You go, girl!

Diet - wise, I've been letting the stress of our teenage son problems get the better of me. I've got to stop using that as a crutch and smarten up a bit...no, a lot! I must get back to BCB and find other resources to help me along. If anyone out there knows of any...please fill me in!

Here's the sad food journal for today:

Breakfast:
2 cups of coffee - 0

Lunch:
Weiner - 5
WW bread - 0.5
cheese - 2

Snacks:
Peanut butter cup - ? (I'd guess 4 but not sure)
4 tootsie rolls - ? (again I don't know)
yogurt - low fat - 1

Supper
1 cup spaghetti - 4
1/2 cup sauce with meat (homemade) - 3

Snack tonight
Homemade fruit pizza - (don't know)...crust is a biscuit crust, lots of fruit , low fat cream cheese and a glaze made from fruit juice, sugar and cornstarch.

Known points...19.5
I probably went over my 25 points...hopefully I didn't blow it all together.

You know...I think this is a rather boring blog...wonder what I could do to make it more interesting. Hmm....I'll have to put my thinking cap on.

Must go for the night...talk to you again soon.

We learn and grow and are transformed not so much by what we do but by why and how we do it. Sharon Salzberg

Glorious Sunday

Hi...it's just me. It's Sunday...which also means it's my day off! It's almost noon and I'm not yet dressed. Searchng for some much needed energy to get the day's events accomplished.

Hubby is away for a couple days, so I'm feeling rather lonely - although my daughter is home with me, it's not the same as having your companion and confidant close by. With recent events still fresh in my mind, I' m missing my husband more than ever.

My great friend is back from her summer holidays - yay! I am going to visit her this afternoon to catch up on summer happenings. Looking forward to it - will be good for me to get out.

As for todays meals...I'll have to come back later to get a proper point total, but here is the plan.

Breakfast
Bannock - 3
margarine - .5
jam - .5
peanut butter - 1

Lunch
low fat hot dog - 2
weight watcher bread - .5

Supper
chicken ceasar salad:
lettuce - 0
chicken breast 2
croutons - 1
low fat ceasar salad dressing - 2
ear of corn - 2
margarine - 0.5
ice cream - 4
chips - 6

Total - 25

That's it for today! Not another bite!
If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you. What we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down. Mary Pickford

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Another favorite website. I've found it very helpful in my weight loss journey as well as in everyday life. Everyone at this site is so willing to help each other in every aspect...personal problems, weight, recipes, sprituality - you name it! If I need help or guidence, I know I'll find it here!

Can I do this?

Hi, it's just me...I think. Things have been rough lately and I haven't been here. Having more problems with my son and don't think I have it in me right now to type it all out. Feeling tired and drained. Thank God for work, where I can keep busy and thinking about my problems is kept to a minimum. Maybe someday I can write it all out...but I'm just too darned sad at the moment.

Here's a quote from a book I'm reading called "The Beach House" by Mary Alice Munroe. I like it...

"People always seem to be in so mych of a hurry". Lovie continued as she sat down breathlessly in the sand. "Rush, rush, rush. What are they rushing toward? Life isn't some kind of race. We all get to the same finish line, sooner or later. You'd hate to get the end in sight and suddenly wish you'd walked rather than run, wouldn't you?

That's all for now.
Good night.

Day is done....

Hi, it's just me.

Well, it's time for bed, but I wanted to do a bit of journaling here. It's been an emotional day. I was happy, nervous, a bit scared, apprehensive and now relieved. Supper went well. Not great, but it's a start. There was some tension in the air, but we made it through intact.

I picked my son up from his workplace and brought him home for chowder and bannock. He stayed after for a bit of a visit and then I took him back to where he is residing at the moment. Yes, a couple issues were brought up, which I don't think he cared for, but he kept his cool - unlike months ago, when he would have hit the roof and stormed off. There are many things that have to get dealt with which he won't like, but in order for us to move forward as a family, we must. It won't be easy.

Anway, he talked very quietly...hard to hear him sometimes. It's unlike him and that worries me a bit. Why is he talking that way? Self esteem? I don't know, but the upside is that he "talked". He kept up a running commentary about things and asked about some of our neighbors (which shows a bit of interest in what's going on around us). This is more than we had before...so I'll take it.

He's aware that he will be returning home at month's end and he knows we want him to continue counsilling sessions with a family counsellor. I'm not sure how he feels about it...I think deep down, he wants to come home, but may not be willing to admit it. Not sure....

Lots to think about over the next while. I don't expect smooth sailing, but hopefully the waves won't knock us over.

Here's the meal lowdown...again...hard to keep the points. I must start taking the time to figure them out better.

Breakfast
poached egg - 2
2 slices weight watcher bread - 1
margarine - 1

Lunch
leftover mashed potato - 3

Supper
Chowder ?
bannock - 3
margarine - 1
orange supreme dessert - 3

Snack
chips - 5

total - 19 plus chowder....I think I just made it again!

Tomorrow, I have to sit and do the math on homemade recipes!

Okay, off to bed...it's been a long day - after I took my son "home", we watched Legally Blonde 2. Not as good as the first installment, but still pretty entertaining. Tomorrow is another day off for me...I think it's time to shampoo the carpets! Ugh....

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." -Sydney J. Harris, Strictly Personal

Guess who's coming to dinner?

Hi, it's just me. Happy Saturday! I'm glad it is the weekend...yay! I actually have the whole weekend off, so am looking forward to some downtime. The weather is supposed to be stormy today but so far it is 24 celcius and sunny. Think I'll take a book and a cold drink and go soak up the sun for a bit.

I worked late last night so didn't get a chance to come online yesterday. It was a busy day which was good - I like being busy. After I came home, I took my daughter to get a movie...we watched "Legally Blonde" which I hadn't seen yet. After a slow start, it was very funny! We are going to get "Legally Blonde 2" tonight. I hope it's as good as the first installment.

Diet-wise - yesterday - I'm not sure what my points value was...I know what I ate but don't know the points yet to a couple things...nonetheless - here is the menu:

Breakfast
Fibre 1 cereal and skim milk - 1
Lunch - 2 pilot crackers - ?
jam - 1
Snack - 1 pilot cracker - ?
peanut butter - 1
jam - 1
Supper #1 (as I was eating light at work so I could eat real supper at home late when I got home)
storemade ceasar salad which consisted of romaine, bacon bits (imitation), croutons, salad dressing on teh side (of which I used about a third) (?)
Bounty bar (can't think of the real name, but similar to that) - 4
Supper #2 (real supper eaten at 9 pm)
homemade fish chowder (?)
homemade bannock - 3
margarine - 0.5
Snack - airpopped popcorn - 1
margarine - 1

So total based on what I know - 13.5 (but still have to account for chowder, salad, and pilot crackers)...with 25 points alloted to me...I may just have made it!

Today - guess who might be coming to dinner? My son!!! He stopped in twice this week with offering of fresh caught fish. Keep in mind, we havenn't heard from him in over 3 months. We invited him to supper tonight - he said he didn't know....he has to check I guess with foster family, he works til 6 and he said he needs a ride. That's fine, I told him I'd get him from work...I didn't pressure him. Simply asked that he phone either way and let us know. He said he would. I actually get the impression he's a bit nervous about it - a far cry from the belligerant, rude boy from the past year. So, we can only wait and wonder. I really hope he comes, but I fully expect him to call with some sort of excuse (which may or may not be the truth...he's not proven to be overly honest of late). I'll keep you posted on the outcome.

Well, housework awaits and so does that sun!

"Hope is a state of mind, not of the world. Hope, in this deep and powerful sense, is not the same as joy that things are going well, or willingness to invest in enterprises that are obviously heading for success, but rather an ability to work for something because it is good." -Vaclav Havel

Bored, bored, bored!

Could I have been any more bored today at work? What a long day - not much to do...quiet...not many customers. The hours dragged on and on and on. The highlight of the workday was going out for a staff lunch. Thought I might have blown the diet budget...but maybe not. Today's meals:

Bannock with marg. and jam - 5
chicken ceasar salad - 6 (?)
ah caramel cake - 2
potato - 3
fish - 4
mixed veggies - 1

Total - 21

Not banking again today as I'm not sure on the point count of a couple thing.
Anyway...this is a short blog...and boring...but it's late and I'm tired.
Good night...

The secret of a good life is to have the right loyalties and hold them in the right scale of values.
Norman Thomas (1884 - 1968)

What a day!

Hi, it's just me...What a day I've had! I'm so exhausted I shouldn't even be on here! It was a busy day at work today - as it is always - but I didn't stop all day other than to have lunch!

At noon I was talking with my husband about issues with my son. We haven't seen him for 3 months as he is under the care of the child services agency in town. We signed a voluntary placement agreement as he was an out of control teen and we just couldn't get a handle on him. Mistakenly we assumed (there's a dangerous word!) he, as well as us as a family, would get some much needed guidence and counselling. This is what we were led to beleive anyway, and I think that is what is supposed to happen. Well, other than placing him in temporary foster care, nothing has happened. So anyway, our agreement is up at the end of this month and we've decided not to sign it again.What for? Nothing will happen anyway! So, my husband and I were talking about what we expect could happen when our son comes home. We just got through saying we didn't think he would come home at all - that we get the feeling he wants nothing more to do with us when, lo and behold, he appears on our back porch! He and a friend were out fishing and caught this huge fish they didn't want. So, the boated over to our place and my son offered it to us if we wanted it. Surprise, surprise! Well, we accepted it and said thank you and then after a search for his other glasses - as he broke the first pair - off he went. Part of me wants so hard to believe that he's opened the door a crack...the other part is skeptacle of his intentions. Peace offering? A way in the door because he needed his glasses? You'd have to know the full story behind our dealings with this boy to understand why I am waffling in my thoughts of why he was here.

This afternoon after work my husband, son and I were to meet at a family councellors office for a 3 way meeting. My son didn't go. He told the lady yesterday that he just couldn't sit down with us yet. He didn't think he could get through a meeting with us. We told her about his appearance at the house and she was quite surprised by this turn around. We kept our meeting and are supposed to meet with her again in a couple days. She is going to try again to get our son there. We need to lay all cards on the table and discuss issues and expectations from all parties. Unless we get to the bottom of our son's anger, we really can't move forward.

Diet today has been hard to keep. I want chocolate so bad!!! Here is my menu from today - not great, but I wasn't home to cook properly today. My daughter cooked lunch, so I ate a bit of it. I cooked supper very quickly because it was almost 7:30 when we got home. I've stayed within points though...I think...

Breakfast

fibre 1 and skim milk (1)
2 weight watcher toast (1)
margarine and jam (1)

Lunch

kraft dinner (5)

Supper

homemade corned beef and hash (14)

Snack

airpopped popcorn - 3 cups (1)
1 t. margarine, melted (0.33)

Total - 23.33

I won't count banked points today as I'm not 100 % sure of the point count for the hash. so I didn't eat much today, did I? Unfortunately for me, what I did eat was high in points and not filling!

I must sign off for the night. It's almost 11 pm and I should be in bed already!



I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich.
~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
(http://www.quotegarden.com/family.html)

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